the dark side of the sun (by layney hinck)

I stained myself with your imprint,
Now unable to feel whole without it.
I emptied myself, hoping
To make room for your return.
It never hurt much, I never valued any of what I gave up.
It only ever felt like a chore,
Just taking out the trash.
Though you left me cold,
I always thought of you in sun tinted days.

Those days that are warmer than not
While it still rains like crazy, and the whole world
Feels pressed and steamed.
It draws out all the heaviness in your bones,
And makes sandbags of your limbs.
That dampness, that weight,
Is the way you’ve conditioned my heart.
Too full on lost breaths and bitter truths, 
Unwilling to accept another spoonful of false hope.
Even as it may come from a tin labeled
With your name.
Your sugar coating only fattens
The beast that is disappointment.
Only makes me that much more an inadequate
Adversary to his inevitable arrival. 
Though his arrival is imminent, it is not new.

And it’s funny how a drive down a long road,
Or a breeze of a warmer air,
Can spark nostalgia,
Only felt in the pits of hearts and heads, that is all bittersweet pain.
Pain of memories I wish we shared,
And lights that only seem to grow more dim
As the air gets heavier, and the road draws closer to an edge.
Because I learned goodnight as goodbye,
And have only known happy in passing, as a friend of a friend,
Too distant to call my own.